Post main image
Photo by


The Third Letter To My Sisters

Friendship: Keep your circle small

BY Pauline Katethya

Feb 27, 2021, 05:16 PM

Photo by

Hey, it’s your sister again. Yeah, the one who loves sending letters and talking about everything and nothing as if she has an idea of what she talks about. I’m not as wise as I sound. I can’t read time from a wristwatch or do basic math without a calculator but hey, here we are.

I won’t tell you to be careful when it comes to friends because no matter how careful we are, sometimes we end up making mistakes. I hope you will learn the lessons, re-learn things, and set boundaries. You will meet takers who will take and take and give nothing in return. There will be friends who only look for you when they need something from you. Beware of such kinds of people because they will leave you empty. Protect your peace and well-being. You just need a few healthy friendships that will allow you to grow and blossom. 

Treasure Your Friends

The world wouldn’t make sense without friends. Friends are people who light up your soul and make you feel more alive. You will meet some in strange places and situations and your friendship will flourish. These are people who always want the best for you. They will support you and be there for you every step of the way. They will cry and laugh with you. And no matter how bad things are, they won’t let go.

Celebrate and cherish the moments you share. Check up on them regularly. Don’t take it personally when they withdraw from you. Everyone is dealing with something and there are times when life gets overwhelming. Take care of them and always show up. We need each other. 

Real Friends Tell You The Truth 

They will not sugarcoat anything just to make you happy. They will tell it as it is. They will tell you when you are being a pain in the ass or when you are going back to old destructive behaviors. When your boyfriend is treating you badly they will let you know. When you are getting too comfortable, they’ll urge you to grow. They will always challenge you. These are the kind of people you need to keep in your life. The ones who give it to you straight and don’t filter anything. 

Listen And Be Present

The more you grow older, the more stuff keeps piling up. You will have a problem at work, at home, your health, finances, mental health issues and you will need someone to talk to. Your friends will also need someone to talk to. A shoulder to lean on. A safe space to open up. Pay attention and listen carefully to what they say. Sometimes they might not talk to you but may communicate through their silence or their actions. When they make mistakes, don’t judge them. We are human, no one is perfect and sometimes we jump into fire even though we know we are going to burn. 

People always have things going on and you might be surprised how something so small and yet so big as listening can make a difference in someone’s life. So listen and be there for them. 

Some Friendships Won’t Last And That’s Okay

Letting go has never been easy. We always want beautiful things to last and people to stay in our lives, but stories have an ending. Most times we are never prepared for the ending, but no matter how painful they are we have to let go. There are people you will never want to lose, but you’ll lose them anyway. Its life and life is a series of losses and gains. 

Some friends will walk out of your life for petty reasons. You will have disagreements with others, you will stop talking to others or they’ll stop talking to you. Sometimes you won’t even know what happened but life will have to move on. Cherish the moments and be glad that there was a time they were in your life. Somethings were never meant to last. 

Don’t Let A Man Destroy Your Friendship

We make mistakes. And because of that or our selfish reasons, we will find ourselves in weird situations. You might like a man but he ends up liking your friend or the guy ends up pursuing both of you and you won't know until it's too late. When this happens, don’t ditch your friend. Especially if she didn’t know. It wasn’t her fault, it was the guy's fault. So don’t quit on friends for timid reasons. It’s not worth it. Your friendship is bigger than that.

Read: If You Do This You're Letting Us All Down