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The Burden Of Being Born First

Firstborns are never allowed to be children.

BY Pauline Katethya

Dec 06, 2022, 10:49 AM

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There are people who get good morning sunshine texts, then there are firstborns. Firstborns were born on the left side of the world. God created them when he was nursing a bad hangover.

I bet some parents don’t know where their eldest kids came from. They were just watching 7 PM news, when a small human appeared out of the blues and they were like, "ooh, I guess we’ll just have to let him figure out things on his own, right baba John?" And baba John nodded because they didn't even have the energy to look for a classy name. 

Parents are always on a trial and error with the first kid. He didn’t die when he fell off the bed last night? See, this is a strong one. I guess falling is his thing. 

Their life might be documented on family albums, parents might pretend they were prepared to have them, but it has never been easy for them. Here’s why. 

Your Money Is Never Yours 

In fact, nothing is ever yours. Your clothes, your bedroom, even your personal space. You will be taking a sh*t and your siblings will pop up from nowhere. In your dreams, your workplace, everywhere you are, they will be there.

They’ll be thirsty for your money, no matter how small it is. Some will even think they are entitled to it. You’ll have to come through for everyone in a certain way. No matter how bad you are doing, there will be people looking up to you who need your help in one way or the other. 

You Have To Be A Good Role Model

You are the first one, everyone looks up to you. You have no room to make mistakes. Things need to be perfect. Your behavior needs to be good. You need to be responsible. Take charge where need be. Go to church. Be successful. Everyone is waiting to follow your lead. 

If you ever screw up, people will use you as an example. Don’t be like Agnes, Agnes got pregnant before she was done with her studies. She messed up her life. No matter what you do, you will be remembered for your mistakes. 

Take The Blame For Everything Or Someone Dies

The last born broke the flower vase? You, firstborn, where were you when your brother was doing this? Didn’t I tell you to always keep an eye on your brother? Is there anything you did to prevent the fall? No? Go get the red slippers.

No One Asks If You Are Doing Okay 

People always assume you are doing okay. That you are in control of things just because you are older and maybe wiser. They think you have things figured out and no one will barely ask how you are holding up. You are strong, you take care of others but who is taking care of you? Who is giving the giver?

You Have To Grow Up Faster 

It’s like they are not even children. They have to learn to be responsible at an early age. Take care of others. Make sure tasks get done. These people sacrifice a lot just to make others happy. But because we are human, most of us never appreciate that. 

Parents Are Hard On You

Ever wonder why your last born get away with almost everything? How parents are soft on them? Yet when you were growing up you had to report to them even when visiting the washroom. And the worst part is that they get new things easily but when you had to ask for pocket money, your parents reminded you how they had to walk 10 kilometres barefoot, under the scorching sun, just to get to school. Oh well, it is because you arrived first before the parents had gotten hold of the parenting thing.

When Are You Getting Married?

Just because you are the firstborn, you are supposed to marry first and have children first. It’s like that’s what you are born to do. Aunties will even suggest a man for you and remind you to get a man who goes to church.

Read: Keep Your Circle Small And Treasure Your Friends