When it comes to romantic relationships, there’s one thing that has the youth in chokeholds; the talking stage. Many people have mixed feelings about it, some believe that it’s a waste of time and others reckon it makes a good foundation of a relationship.

By definition, the talking stage is the early phase of a (potential) relationship where both parties know that they are interested in each other, so they talk to get to know each other. Do they work? Let’s look at the pros and cons of these.

This is the phase where you can get to know each other, your interests, what you’re about and all. It's usually exciting, there are those long phone and video calls every day, this is the person that you chat with on a daily basis and you’re excited about how this is going. You just know that you're interested in each other and you haven’t discussed anything deep. 

We all know that you can never truly know a person. Some people just drag this phase and that can cause stagnancy and uncertainty between two people. One person on the one hand knows that they want to do this, on the other hand, the other party wants to take things slow and you see this through actions because no one is addressing the issue because are you even there yet? 

The talking stage has no rules, but if you get deep in it, you’ll notice some unwritten rules. But again, no one addresses this, you’re just going with the flow. You will connect with your ‘bite’ and your friends may even know about them or met them and they fit perfectly into your life. 

While you’re connecting and having fun with the person, you’re still not talking about being exclusive but just, going with the flow. Remember the unwritten rules I mentioned? Your bite might be having other talking stages with other people and you have no grounds to complain, because asijoli. You’re also allowed to talk to other people but sometimes, it happens that this is the one that you enjoy and choose, while they’re choosing another one. Guys, who came up with this thing?

As I mentioned, talking stages give you the freedom to entertain whoever you want and not have to answer to anyone because you’re not in a committed relationship.

You guys know exactly what I’m talking about here. I’ll ask again. Who came up with this? 

It can be exciting when getting to know each other. Everyday you will keep on guessing about how it will go and there is that element of surprise because you don't know if it is for the good or for the worst. It keeps you on your toes, to bring more game than you did the previous day so that you can impress. 

There are many reasons why the 'talking stage' can die down as fast as it began. Just to mention a few, pride, lack of consistency and the game of 20 questions. Pride comes in when you both don't want to be the first to text the other which might just lead to no one texting and eventually the end of that stage. Lack of consistency when texting can be a bummer for the most conversing person because they have to wait for a reply for hours even, which can be nerve-wrecking. The game of 20 questions is just the worst, when you have to ask each other questions to get to know more about each other, which can mean that you have to be very careful with the answer you give because of scrutiny which may just lead to the death of that relationship even before it has began.


Read more: Don't Catch Feelings