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How To Have Difficult Conversations With Neighbors

Be calm and polite

BY Pauline Katethya

Mar 19, 2021, 01:48 PM

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Have you ever had an annoying troublesome neighbor? One who loves playing loud music until your windows tremble and are almost cracking? Or the party animal who parties from Monday to Monday? And not just with his friends but the whole building?

Well, these types of people can be irritating especially during the night when they make it impossible for you to sleep. Or those that wake you at 6 AM on a Saturday because they want to listen to SDA music before they go to church. It’s difficult to have conversations with such people because you don’t want to destroy your friendship, but it is important. Here are ways you can approach the matter. 

Be Honest 

Communicate clearly without any biases and let them know how you feel about them playing loud music late in the night when you are trying to sleep. Tell them how that has disrupted your sleep cycle or how you struggle to wake up in the morning. I know if they cared about you, they would be mindful of that, but just let them know. This is a step towards making things better. 

Be Calm And Polite 

I know it’s difficult to stay calm when you are talking to someone who keeps stepping on your toes, but you need to keep it together. As you express your concerns do it in a friendly way, without any anger and resentment towards them. They might not take the issue lightly because we are grownups and we don’t love being told what to do, but even when they raise your voice, stay calm and communicate your points effectively. You can write them down , so you don’t miss out on any.

Choose The Perfect Timing 

Don’t talk to them when they are having a party and the music is loud. They might be intoxicated and high chances are that they won’t remember what you talked about the previous night. Talk to them when they are sober or when they are not doing chores or working. It’s important we also respect people’s spaces and boundaries as we try to get the message home.

Work Towards A Solution 

After you have expressed yourself assertively, and they are aware of the problems they cause, come up with solutions. The main goal is to live in a peaceful and silent environment and even though this may not be achieved, you can work on having a solution that works for both of you. 

Involve The Caretaker

If you have tried to resolve the matter personally, but nothing has changed, talk to the caretaker or the management. This doesn’t make you a snitch. You are entitled to have your peace and silence. They might get a warning or an eviction notice, something that might be a long-term solution for the problem.

Read: How To Stay Safe In The Streets Of Nairobi