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Andres Ayrton


Five Signs You Are Having Horrible Sex

The telltale signs that show your sex life is not it.

BY Beryl karimi-La Patrona

Dec 01, 2022, 12:44 PM

Photo by

Andres Ayrton

Statistically, 70% of women do not orgasm during sex. Not that it is their fault. We were just born in a world that does not prioritize female sexual pleasure. Sex has always been a men's thing and we are just vessels for it or rather a means to an end.

Due to our layered history of not being prioritized where sexual pleasure matters a huge percentage of women struggle with sex. Our ideas of sex are still steeped in harmful cultural misconceptions that continue to harm women. That sort of thing should not be going on in the information age so here are a few pointers that will help you know if your sex life needs a revamp or not.

Read more ; Love And Sex: Understand The Difference

It is painful.

Sex should not be painful. It should be enjoyable. It only becomes painful when the other person isn't mindful about your needs as a woman. If he penetrates before you have done actual foreplay for example the sex is bound to be painful. Foreplay is what makes sure you are well lubricated for the sexual act and yet a lot of people overlook it. 

Another thing that could be causing pain is him having an organ that is rather too big. We have rings that sort this out so it isn't something that should make you suffer.

It involves just penetration.

Selfish and inattentive lovers are the worst you can ever experience and you will always identify them by how first they jump into exploring penetration when they should know for a fact that a majority of women do not orgasm through penetration.
There is so much more to sex that penetration. A woman's body is a vast land full of places to be explored but because men view sex as something they do to women as opposed to something they do with them they always fail to invest in their woman's pleasure.

You feel unsatisfied after it.

If your sexual experience leaves you on the other side of the bed eyes wide open while the other person is snoring then you should rethink your whole sex life and whether it is really worth it. 
If having sex leaves you feeling regretful or ashamed you should relearn everything the society taught you about sex because sex isn't supposed to do that to person. Sex is supposed to impact your mental well being positively but sometimes it doesn't because we grew up being told if is a sin. Well, it isn't a sin.
Sex is a source of pleasure. It should leave you glowing and happier. It should leave you feeling better about yourself than when you got into it. It should get you to sleep because the happy hormones and the sleep hormones are always released when you reach climax. If your sexual experience is any different then there is definitely something wrong with it. 

It takes so long that you start begging him to finish silently.

A lot of men put too much importance to what they can do with their penis and that often hurts too many women. If he goes on for an hour you should both be in sync. It should not be him pumping and you lying there wondering when he is going to be done.
The problem with him staying for so long without foreplay breaks is that the vaginal wetness dries up and when this happens the sex becomes painful.

You do not look forward to it. 

Enthusiasm about something is the true determinant of whether you like doing it or not. If you always claim you are tired when he wants to get down to it then you most definitely aren't having the best sex of your life with that man. If you have to pretend you are on your period or you are sick to get out of having sex that is another clear sign that your sex life needs a total shift.

If you are having sex it should definitely be something you look forward to. It should not feel like a duty or an obligation. It is something that is there to give you joy and if you feel any other way about it then you are obviously having mediocre sex.