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RELATIONSHIPS

Don't Catch Feelings

Tired of relationships?

BY Julia QA

Apr 22, 2022, 07:00 AM

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If there’s one topic that young people discuss more often, it’s relationships. We talk about these almost every day on social media, with our close friends and families and the weirdest thing is, we all have a mgowo to share, and it’s always centred around romantic relationships

I come from a generation that is so terrified by the idea of love, that in every encounter, one’s always on their guard trying not to “catch feelings”. In her book, All About Love, Bell Hooks says:
“Young people are cynical about love. Ultimately, cynicism is the great mask of the disappointed and betrayed heart.”
Poor things must be so traumatised, but it's not all gloom and doom and this is probably the reason behind this piece. We often think “romantic” when we hear the word relationships but there are other fulfilling and important relationships that we often take for granted by prioritising one particular relationship over others. These are some of the most important relationships we should nurture to live fulfilling lives. 

Kinship

While I understand that we come from different homes and backgrounds, with different challenges, I believe that this is one of the most important relationships one could have. This is your first community in the world, this is where you learn your first values, heritage and your roots.  Many were here before you and many will still come after you. This is a relationship that we often don’t choose, as it is based on blood ties and ancestral lineage. When done right, this is one of the most fulfilling relationships one could ever have in life. 

Friendships

The ability to meet people, not through blood, but through fate, and choose to bring them into your life, your personal space and share your vulnerability with them, is God’s greatest gift to humans. We often take this particular relationship for granted because we believe that friends will always be there and the relationship doesn’t need much work. We don’t fully nurture friendships but this is where we learn to navigate life without family, they teach us about support, empathy, fun and some lessons only friends can teach you. One goes through so many things in life and friendships provide you with a platform to vent, cry, share, celebrate and enjoy life together. If you can, build solid ones. 


Acquaintanceships

There’s a point in life where one has to flee the nest and forge their own path to serve their life’s purpose. This is where you will meet different people from a world different than yours. They will introduce you to other people and you’ll see the world in a different way. You’ll take many lessons- bad and good from these types of relationships and you’ll connect to the world other than your friends and family. 

Romantic relationships

Oh, the world’s most valued relationships. Songs have been released, books and movies have been written, experts and the inexperienced have weighed in on these relationships, but very few of us seem to get them right. 

So many other relationships have been formed from romantic relationships. Many of us have experienced some of the most beautiful moments and excruciating pain in them. Many have stopped believing in love and romantic relationships and have formed new relationships, such as situationships, casual and open relationships. 

Office Relationships

I am not talking about that office husband or wife you might or might not have. I am talking about the relationship between you and your colleagues, which could strictly be professional or have a personal touch of being less professional and more friendly. This relationships are important and it is more important to define them so that boundaries are not crossed which could be a huge mistake. 

Humans are social beings and craving meaningful relationships is part of the human experience. Life has shown us flames and we’ve taken few betrayals and hard lessons from relationships but we shouldn’t be ashamed of wanting relationships. Whether it’s sisterhood/brotherhood that you’re looking for, don’t hold back. Build solid relationships and they will take far in life.

Read more:
3 Ways To Keep Sisterhood Strong