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Are Good Men Found In Church?

Love can meet you anywhere.

BY Pauline Katethya

Mar 15, 2023, 10:01 AM

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There is a boy I like in church. He’s not that tall, but it looks like he’s taller than me. From where I sit, he looks handsome. You know, there are people who look good but when you get closer, they look like a different person. He wears suits and he has a beautiful marvellous voice that makes you feel as if you are seated at the feet of Jesus. 

The last time he led the worship team, I could feel as if I was basking in the glory of Jesus. That made him even more attractive. It’s like he was flirting and caressing me spiritually. Do you get it? 

I almost heard him say, when you are mine, this is how I’ll lead you closer to God. Talk about goosebumps! But I seem to wonder how many women look at him that way. Will we ever meet and get the chance to tell him that I noticed him 2 years ago? I don’t know. 

What I know for sure is that there are many women who wait to be noticed in church. The main aim is to worship and connect with God, but it wouldn’t hurt if the pastor said, greet your neighbour and someone looked into your eyes and realized they have been looking for you. Right? But are good men found in church?

There Is No Such Thing As Good Men.

We grew up with our mums telling us to work hard so that in the end, good men could marry us. It’s like good girls were eventually rewarded with good men. However, growing up makes you realize that there are no good men. There are only right and wrong men for you.

The right men will feed your soul. They will appreciate your authenticity and your beauty. They will feel good for your nervous system. Even though you might not be compatible, you’ll be able to tell their intentions from the beginning. 

The wrong men will be simply wrong for you. Even your intuition and your nervous system will keep telling you something is off or you don’t belong there. 

Most times we don’t listen to ourselves and end up paying the price for being ignorant. We like categorizing people into good or bad people, but we exist between the two states. A person is so many things. 

Love Can Meet You Anywhere. 

Often people think that when you meet a man in a church he’s going to be different. This can be right or wrong. People go to church for various reasons, there’s no guarantee that you’ll find your other half in church. What really matters isn’t the meeting point but the values and character of the person. 

You might meet the kings of narcissism or abusive people in the church. You just never know. You might meet your person on the way to the shop or even through social media or a friend. I know of a friend of a friend who met her man in a funny way. So, someone posted her picture on Whatsapp, and a guy saw it, liked it, and asked whoever had posted her if he could have her number. 

That was the beginning of a beautiful story. Easy, right? While some people have had to walk through mountains and valleys and slay giants along the way in the quest to find love. So, love can pop up anywhere, even in the ugliest and most hopeless places. Amen?

Does Religion Matter?

I don’t know about you but I’ve experienced quite some negativity in church. The greatest commandment is love but unfortunately, this is barely practised in some churches.

There are some churches where if you have dreadlocks, a sleeve of tattoos, or a couple of piercings, people give you the sinner looks like you should be somewhere else other than the church. It’s as if you are unworthy of God.

Going to church or not is a personal choice but I believe spirituality is more important than religion. There are people who are knee-deep into religion and know nothing about treating other people with kindness or love. 

Of course, when you say this, people will think you are not Christian enough. But I think what really matters is the connection and the relationship, someone has with their higher power. So, we honestly shouldn’t put much emphasis on religion but on who a person is on the inside. After all, doesn’t love conquer all?