You know those stories you hear and they sound like scenes from an Afrocinema movie? I heard one this morning. A few weeks ago, this woman who we will call Ciku for this article, considered herself almost married.
You see, she had been with this man forever. She spent most nights in his apartment and while he hadn’t voiced it, she could swear he was thinking about marrying her. Then one weekend, he told her he was traveling to the village to see his parents and then boom! She saw photographs of his traditional wedding to another woman posted by his friends online.
When you hear this story, your first thought is, but how could she not know? Well, looks like she only saw and heard the things she wanted to see. Don’t be made a fool of hun. Here are the signs that you are not the main woman in his life
Dodgy Phone Habits
Does your man hide his phone screen when he is texting, keep his phone on silent, and has an access code? Yes? There’s a chance there’s more than one of you fishing in this pond.
Does he jump to his feet when the phone rings and often goes out of earshot to pick calls? It’s time you began dating other people.
The Boys Praise You
It’s one thing if his friends pay you compliments now and then and it’s another if they keep gushing about how you are the only woman in his life they have met and how they have never seen him this happy.
It’s also a bad sign if his friends hit on you. Men take the boy code quite seriously. If they are hitting on you, it’s because they know there’s someone he takes more seriously.
He Gives Presents Not Time
That’s the thing about side chicks. For a man, it’s cost-intensive. He has only 24 hours in a day to split between two women so he will give the main chick time and the other one, cash and presents.
If he substitutes the time he should have spent with you with gifts, he could be spending his time with someone he values more.
He Cancels Last Minute
Is he canceling on you last minute all the time? You could be the one he is running around with while another woman waits for him to finish sowing his wild oats. It’s the same if your phone calls always end abruptly mid-conversation with, “I’ll call you back. I can’t talk right now.”
He Hates PDA
If you are the side chick, he will flinch if you try as much as give him a peck in public because he doesn’t know who else is watching and taking pictures to show his real girlfriend or wife.
If you are unsure, the next time you are in public, try reaching out for his hand or lean in for a peck and watch his reaction. Oh, and don’t buy that bull that he hates PDA because he’s traditional.
Read: Your Man Is Our Man