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3 Reasons #BlackLove Must Be Flaunted

Little Black girls and boys deserve to see people that look like them loving each other right

BY Naledi K

Apr 20, 2022, 06:21 PM

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The recent death of media mogul Shona Ferguson and the untimely end of their fairytale love story with his now widowed wife Connie Ferguson made me realize how important it is to have inspiring Black couples in mainstream media. This is not to say young Black girls and boys all over SA don’t have beautiful, inspiring Black love.

We just don’t have enough of it, and having one such love come to end exposed just how many young people have had to resort to finding inspiration on TV or in the media for Black love. Highlighting once again, the importance of representation in the media.

Shona died on 30th July 2021, due to Covid-19 related complications. The whole country mourned his death from the moment the news broke and tributes flooded social media platforms from that fateful Friday. 
"For all the fond memories shared and the personal stories of those that got to live and work with him, there was an equal number of people that never met Shona or his wife but were saddened by the fact that death indeed “did them apart”. I lost count of how many people said for all the talent Shona had, their favorite thing about him was how he loved Connie - loud and proud."
Countless strangers to the couple expressed how watching them - A powerful Black man and woman that loved each other genuinely - made them believe that such love is attainable and possible. These people explained how this one Black couple inspired them to follow in their footsteps. To do it like the Fergusons: Find the love of your life, get to know them, become best friends, get married, build each other up and support each other’s dreams, have children and build an empire for your family.

One person on Twitter said, “Shona Ferguson’s death has taught me that no matter what women write on social media or say, they all want a person who will love them unconditionally, compliment their being and raise an empire with them. This is why, to a lot of them, Shona’s death felt so personal. They can’t imagine how Connie is feeling, but they can actually feel what she’s feeling because they love how Shona loved her. Their love was beautiful.”

I got exactly what the Twitter user was saying and I saw more of the importance of Black love representation when the likes of Minnie Dlamini said:
“The love that Mam Connie & Mr Sho have is a love I try to emulate in my own marriage. They also showed me that my dreams and goals in the production space are attainable.” 
She wasn’t the only one who was glad to have had a love to “try and emulate” and every second post since Shona’s death said as much.

It is almost an year now since Shona passed and we are sure it has not been an easy time for the Fergusons. Having to loose someone that means the utterly most to you is the hardest thing that can happen in someone's life. Connie continues to be strong but she still expresses her love to Shona and remembers the favorite things they used to do together, like carpet Sundays. Clearly the little things do matter. Their love goes on, as Connie states on her Instagram, "I love you forever" when she was expressing how life has been six months after Shona's passing.

Now, the Fergusons’ love is only one of many beautiful representations of Black Love in the media space. There are many other Black couples whose love has stood the test of time and while they may not be as celebrated as they should be, I am certain their presence means a lot to one Black girl or boy. The likes of Caiphus Semenya and Letta Mbulu, Tony and Sthandiwe Kgoroge, Zam and Nkhensani Nkosi, Basetasana and Romeo Kumalo, Thabo 'Tbose' Mokwele and his wife Mapaseka remain #BlackLove goals and inspiration for many young people watching them live their lives.

Most of us have seen Black love gone wrong more times than we needed to and as we grew up, we may have even been part of Black love that did nothing but attempt to kill us. You know, the kind of Black love rooted in unhealthy choices and a combination of hurt Black women and men that never healed from personal traumas among many other underlying issues.

Others have been overly exposed to the kind of Black love that needs to be unlearned. The love that has taught a Black woman to “bekezela” and a Black man to treat a woman like his possession and an object of his desire. Toxic and difficult Black love that this generation of young men and women continue to fight against so that they can break the curse.

So yes, real successful Black love should always be celebrated and when it ends, it should always be mourned. This is because while more and more of us strive to be our own #BlackLove goals, we still need people that look like us to look up to. We need #BlackLove role models, if not just to be a reminder of what is possible for us, then to just remind the world of the kind of love Black people are capable of giving and receiving.

You know, that “I’m gonna love you and grow with you for 20 years until God decides otherwise” type of love.  That Shona and Connie Ferguson kind of Black love.