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HEALTH

The Seventh Letter To My Sisters

Forgive yourself for accepting certain things to happen to you

BY Pauline Katethya

Mar 25, 2021, 11:24 AM

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Someone said when you make plans God laughs and sometimes he really laughs you want to tell him to get a little bit serious. Life can go in any direction and most times we are never prepared for the changes along the way. Because, unlike water, we barely take shape of what we are put in.

Being an adult is a difficult job. There are times you’ll be required to be tough and other times soft. When you are going through your lows, here are a few things to remember. 

Don’t Be Hard On Yourself 

You are going to make mistakes along the way. Sometimes you’ll hate yourself for this and wish you did things differently. And because life happens to everyone, somethings that are beyond your control will also happen to you. You will have many questions, but sadly the answers will be unavailable. When you veer off the road, forgive yourself for not knowing better at that time and for allowing certain things to happen to you. If it was in a relationship, forgive yourself for accepting less than you deserved or for putting up with crap. You are human. We are not perfect. We make mistakes. 

It’s Not The End 

They say when it rains it pours. You will have bad days where you ask yourself, kwani how many bottoms can a day have? You will feel as if it’s the end, but those will be false bottoms. Those are the days you will question your ability to carry on with life. I hope you remember that your story isn’t over yet. It might be rocky, you may feel as if you are failing and losing one day at a time. But keep going. Don’t live in the past or with regrets of how things could have been. It’s time to rewrite your story. 

It's Okay To Rest

We are always told to be strong, to have our shit together, but it’s okay when things slip out of our hands. It's okay to get tired and most importantly it’s okay to know when you need some rest. Slowing down to breathe doesn’t make you weak. It means that you are self-aware and focused on your mental health. It’s okay to see ourselves for who we are at the moment. For what we feel at the moment. We are human and sometimes when we hold on to our emotions for too long, when we pretend we are okay for too long, we are bound to break. You are allowed to be sad and go deal with your feelings and emotions.

Learn To Let Go 

There are many journeys we make in life and sometimes when we come to the end of one, we still want to hold on. It’s important to know when to stop going. When to stop investing and when to stop watering dead relationships. You will not only make peace with yourself, but you will also be happy.

Letting go also allows you to let in other things in life. It also means letting go of the need to be in control of everything and everyone. Letting go of self-destructive patterns. Letting go of toxic people. People you keep making excuses for. And letting go of trying to live up to people’s expectations and society’s timeline of success. 

Love Yourself 

Most times we are our own worst critics. Because of the need to be perfect, it’s easy to look down on ourselves and think we are not good enough. Good enough in our relationships or in what we do. This will make you feel inadequate because you think something is amiss. Love yourself so fiercely that your love fills up those deep spaces that make you feel incomplete. You already have everything that you are looking for.

Read: Don't Kill Yourself, Men Belong In The Kitchen Too